Get Witless On Lothar!

Get Witless or Be Witty ... It's YOUR Choice! Image source: Hottitude Press.
OK, fans of my website will remember that I did a series called "Witless on Lothar" way back when, and I realized that I could easily collect them and put them in book form for sale on Amazon, so i did. And when I finished, I realized, "This is not erotica, there's only two sex scenes and they're only a few paragraphs long."

What they were, actually, was political satire. It was all about the contrast between the protagonists (political pundit Anne Coaltar) highly politicized view of the world and the barbaric (and really dumb and unbelievable) reality of Gor. Then former presidential candidate Hilarity Clanton winds up being First Girl in the slave kennels where Anne winds up, because "Duh!"

It was so much fun to write. I'm hoping it will be as much fun for others to read.

Here's the blurb:

When political pundit Anne Coaltar wakes up on a strange new world naked and chained to a huge rock after what must have been a hell of a party, she naturally assumes it's a practical joke. Or perhaps that it's one of those dreams where you think you are awake but really are not. But when she's accosted by hard-looking alpha males who look like they stepped out of a Renfair and subjected to indignities that outstrip ANYTHING she had ever suffered at the hands of even the most rabid democrat, Anne realizes this MIGHT be more than a joke, or a dream. If it is a dream, it is a very NAUGHTY dream.

But this is just the BEGINNING for Anne, as she's drawn farther and farther into this dream, or world, or most likely, democratic plot to discredit her. Anne winds up in a slave kennel and discovers that her superior in the slave kennel hierarchy is none other than Hilarity Clanton, her greatest enemy and candidate for the US Presidency!

It it all a dream, a subconscious demon brew of repressed lust and desire that runs counter to Anne's every conservative desire? Is it a democratic plot to discredit Anne? Or is it a science fiction reality that has launched her across the stars only to be confronted with something out of a medieval fantasy?

Find out as you explore the world of the Witless On Lothar!

Shameless Outlaws: A Fun Parody of Second Life Gor

Head straight to Amazon and buy "Shameless Outlaws" at this link or take the risk that for the rest of your like you will wish you had bought this book before everyone else did!
"Shameless Outlaws" by me, Pat Powers, is my first-ever actually-classified-as-such-by-Amazon romance novel, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. It's the story of Markus of Lothar, a world a lot like Second Life Gor. Markus is the semi-brave leader of a semi-bold band of outlaws, The Shameless Outlaws, and Silky is his slavegirl. They live in a world of constant raiding an fighting using weapons that don't kill but just render opponents unconscious if hit often enough. The weapons are technologically advanced but they look and work like bows and swords ... sort of like video game weaponry. When people are defeated in battle they enter the "Red Bubble of Unconsciousness."

Slinky is the former matriarch of a clan of cougar women, wild women who prowl the trackless forests of Lothar, fighting constantly with one another, kidnapping and using men sexually, and also having lots and lots of lesbian sex. Yet Slinky is inexplicably delighted with Markus and glad to be his slave. She's his big stupid stallion and she loves being ridden by him. There is much fun, consensual slavegirl sex to be had here, and it is had!

In short, this is a total parody of SL Gor, and the Gor novels, presenting a kinky video game as if it were an erotic romance. It was tremendous fun to write, I hope it is tremendous fun to read. So buy it and find out, or borrow it if you're on Kindle Unlimited, for nothing! Now that's a deal!

Good Gorean Combat Video On Youtube

A still from a Gorean combat video showing a naked slavegirl just hanging around while a battle rages around her. Image source: TheGodofBeer's Gorean battle video.
The God of Beer, aka BradAtWar "Superman"Guardian has posted a few battle videos that give a pretty good idea how Gorean combat works, like this one here. It's basically Brad carrying a camera during a mass raid on the Agarath Vikings and camming around on various people as he fights. Or doesn't fight, you can't really do an effective job of fighting in an SL Gor Evolved if you are doing anything else at all. Brad gets downed twice, and I've been in fights with Brad, he's a legit super bow, and mostly it's other people who get downed when he fights. I think he was basically just doing the filming in this fight.

Experienced Gorean fighters will be able to easily figure this out, but I'll point out a few things for those who are not experienced fighters.

You'll note a lot of large pointed stake-like objects growing out of the ground. Those are tree trunks. They look like stakes because Brad has his alpha channels turned off, and the foliage on trees is normally rendered in the alpha channels. I know this for sure because when Brad is downed, no red bubble (also rendered in alpha channels) pops up around him.

Some Second life viewers, like Firestorm, allow you to place your camera so that it views another avatar in the same sim you are in with a mouseclick. That's what Brad is doing when the camera suddenly jumps to a different scene in the battle. He's watching others fight, basically.

Interesting bit at the end. There are various people lying on the ground bound in ropes. Brad takes one as a captive, leashing her up. (You do that by clicking on the ropes and then clicking on the popup menu that says "leash." You can then drag the person in the binds wherever you like.) And so Brad starts dragging his captive off to the docks, probably with a view to roleplaying with her for a time and thus encouraging the Agarath Vikings to raid his lands to rescue her.

But as he's leaving, he gets sniped by a defender, arrows hitting him from the fort. So Brad drops his captive since you can't run while dragging a leashed captive (in fact, you CAN run with a leashed captive in the game, but it's against the rules of battle on most sims). Once he's free of the captive, he starts shooting it out with the sniper, which typically would not go well for the sniper, but an Agarath Viking, unknown to Brad, makes a run out to where Brad is and sneaks up on him and downs him with a sword while he's engaged with the sniper. Excellent tactics.

Brad's former captor then proceeds to bind him, but she does not take him captive, when the video ends she is clearly headed away from the fort, which generally means she is going to sail him, the fate of most invaders who are losers in a battle. Generally just one or two are kept captive to be roleplayed, though sometimes virtually a whole group will be taken. It's up to the victors how many get roleplayed, and since that means committing an hour at least to interacting with the captives, there's a tendency for most to get sailed.

An important part of many Gor Evolved is missing here. Most Gor Evolved groups use Vent when they raid. It makes things a lot more exciting, hearing your friends voices as they shout on Vent, "Over here! I'm downed! My captor is in the red, you can take him down easy!" or "We got snipers in the tower to the southeast" or "Ok, lets stick together here at the gate and wear them down before we go in."

Finally, I do not believe this video is at all typical of Brad's performance in battle when he's not filming. He generally gets into the thick of the fighting and stays there. The filming made him hang back a lot, so in that sense it's not typical of Gor Evolved battles. Mostly you want to be in there, shooting and stabbing. But it still gives you some idea what goes on in a battle, and that's a good thing!

Gor Mentioned Withhout Usual Horrified Shreiks In Mainstream Website!!!!!!

A fighting slavegirl of Gor Evolved runs amok, her slave claws extended, wearing a shield for protection (cause she doesn't have so much as a chainmail bikini to protect her), her slings and broom (I THINK that's a broom on her back) ready to deal outrageous fortune to any who cross her path! Image source: Second Life Gor Evolved.
Well paint me purple and call me Barney! Things are really turning around. I've written how Fifty Shades of Grey has, at least temporarily, gotten some elements of mainstream media to stop putting all those "Eeeew" bookends up whenever they discuss BDSM or BDSM-related matters, though of course the real dinosaurs are still at it. It's gotten to where I expect a certain amount of civility in the mainstream discourse about BDSM, something very new to me.

Still, I was AMAZED to see the Gor movies mentioned in this article on I09 as the potential basis for a TV series along the lines of HBO's Game of Thrones and Starz's Spartacus series. This is of course, a brilliant idea, I know this because I had it myself. I just don't typically expect brilliance from writers on mainstream websites. And I don't expect it to be so matter of fact:

However, a Gor TV series would basically be a pay-cable network’s goldmine, seeing how sex and violence is what sells, and Gor has both in ridiculous amounts. A Gor series is tailor-made for the Starz executive who says, “Yes, our Spartacus TV series was could but what it really needed was more tits and violence.”

Wow. The author, Rob Bricken, is totally right of course. Seeing that much simple sanity in a mainstream site writing about the Gor movies is fricking STARTLING. Mostly when Gor is mentioned in mainstream sites, it's heavily bookended with "horrible sexist rapists who wish to enslave and degrade women wholesale and their deeply disturbed female followers!" crap. I'm not exaggerating ... much. Almost anything written about Gor, including the Gor movies, in mainstream sites will almost always include stuff of this nature, if not phrased EXACTLY as I have phrased it.

And that's what makes the simple recommendation of the Gor movies on I09 so startling. Of COURSE there have to be some caveats, but they're fairly mild by mainstream media standards:

John Norman’s long-running fantasy series had two terrible movies, which, depending on how you feel about the series premise that women are naturally subservient to men, and are much happier being dominated by them socially and sexually, is probably fine. ... And, if that executive were not fully on board with Norman’s gender politics, a decent showrunner could subvert the series’ core “values” much like Paul Verhoeven did to Starship Troopers.

These bookends make reference to Norman's "all women are natural slavegirls" philosophy as espoused in the novels (and that's how I know the writer, though referencing the movies for the sake of the article, which is about movies, is thinking about the books, because the movies were anti-slavery in theme and had precious little in the way of sex or violence to recommend them).

And I have to point out (and this is the point of my illustration at the top of the article and below) that Bricken's hypothetical showrunner won't have to expend a lot of creative energy on imagining a more egalitarian Gor, because that has already done -- that is what Gor Evolved IS. In Gor Evolved, women warriors run around with bows shooting male warriors up on an equal footing. To see how a more egalitarian Gor would work, one need only visit a few Gor Evolved sims and see how they work.


A fighting slavegirl (center) and two female warriors pause while wreaking havoc on a Gor Evolved sim. Image source: Second Life Gor Evolved.
Ordinarily, I'd feel very comfortable in predicting that there will be no Gor TV series even on premium channels, given that the Gor novels still make gender feminists shriek in fury, but given how completely I failed to predict the success of Fifty Shades of Grey, I am a bit shy about doing so. And the premium cable channels cannot fail to have noticed the success of Game of Thrones and Spartacus with all their primitive sex, nudity and violence. As Bricken points out, Gor has that in spades.